It’s so hard to goodbye….

I know that I haven’t spoken too much about my work situation…not that anyone cares but if you do. Here it goes, so I’ve been working as a receptionist at a company in the city of La Mirada. All this info is relevant to my tiny rant. Currently we were told that the job would only be a temporary. That it would only last five to six months. Even with that information I was okay with that. Everyone knows how hard it is to find work these day blah, blah, blah damn the economy (damn the man!).

So I took it and even got my special friend a job here too. I always knew the time would come when we would have to leave the building. That this assignment would end. The thing is I wasn’t expecting was to fall in love (no stupid not romantically) the people that work here. Everyone is not only nice, they're quirky and funny as hell.

Let me tell you, about our boss does that man have some jokes. He was constantly talking shit and making jokes at our expense. He was mean but in a nice way that made you laugh. Apparently he said that we tell the best jokes in the reception area. I know he said that cause we are always laughing. I know that I’ll miss him lots.

Everyone in the warehouse is awesome too. There this one guy will call him Mr. J. He tells say how much he dreaded the end of the day cause it was far too long a wait to see me again. Hahaha I just don’t know how he could say it all with a straight face. He’s still going on about how the worst part of the building closing is that he won’t get to see me on at daily basis. Oh and Don R yeah that man is a hoot and a holler. Not only does he have a dirty mind but he also likes to share his awful thoughts so funny...All the peeps in finances department are eefing crazy, all of them. Ahh my kind of peeps. Now the things that have come out of their mouths are not for the meek of heart…all fun though. Oh J-dog I will miss her so, with all her silly stories that are congruent to all my silliness. All da homies in agent setup! I give my props!!! Oh and I can't forget Clark Kent I think I’ll miss him too, but only cause he is so pretty! Hahaaha…

I’ve never been a morning person I don’t like getting out of bed in the wee hours of the morning I don’t like doing it, it’s just that simple but I didn’t mind it so much working here. I can’t believe I’m actually admitting this. I’m gonna miss this place and the all (well most) of the people that work here. My desk, my stupid phone, computer, printer and the very lager flat screen TV (Aww soo pretty) in the lobby.

I sincerely never held great attachment in any work place. Even that one place I worked at for four years. Nevertheless I always kept my distance. I still have, it’s easier that way. I am nothing but cordial and I  still don’t like people so it’s easy to stay away. It’s different this time around. Even with all my wall in place, (to keep them away these people were able to worm they're way in to my heart) I know will miss and be missed. I’m sure of it…*happy smile*

I’m a lovah not a fighter

Fine maybe not a lovah per say. Now that I think, about I don’t think I’ve been anyone’s lovah. Hmmm still I’m more or less lovable goof ball (yeah when I’m not in my depressy moods). Nevertheless I’m not much of a fighter. Really I don't think many people are. Well except when it comes to the peeps I lovin. Cause then oh baby then it’s on like Donkey King Kong!

See lovable goof ball if you’re upset, angry or anywhere in between. I’m that one dope that’s gonna make that lame joke, say something silly or pop out with something so incredibly off the wall that you just can’t help but smile. I am whatever you need whenever you need it…Hmm that’s sounds like a song.

I’m pretty passive though. I think it’s because of my height even as a small child it was staggering. It’s always made me intimidating to others. As of consequence when I was little no one ever messed with or bullied me. Everyone was just too afraid of me. Especially with the looming risk I was going to hurt them. It made that part of school a little easier and sure a little lonely. It’s funny cause of that reason I met my every first friend. Yeah yeah…Aww que cute!

I don’t really remember if it was the first day of kindergarten or not, only that she was tiny and wore glasses. I think she the reason I’ve always wanted to wear glasses…(What? Dude! A chick that wears glasses is hot!! and well I wanna be hot too...) So were everyone else was picking on her. I was so not digging that shit. I'm that (squirrel) nut that will get in trouble just to help you... so there I go telling them to stop it; surprisingly enough she was left alone. Can you believe that to this day we are still friends. Holy mole! That's a long fricking time ago. I want to say that I know what it feels like to want to hurt someone for messing with you. Well perhaps I don’t, but that's why I don’t ever want to be that asshole.

I would rather give you other chance to not be an asshole. Still when all is said and done I would rather turn the other (ass) cheek. Ignore you cause really why would I waste my time with you, if you obviously don’t matter to me. I want to be the bigger person. Since I always have been literally. Hey I try to be as considerate as possible. Here the rub a lot of people are douche bags… sometimes it just can’t be helped. Like I said before I don't like people. No really I don't… ^_^

The thing you have to be careful when dealing with me. Is yes I will always try and give you the benefit of the doubt, But you can only poke the bear so much before it socks you in your face. Besides if a conflict arises and if I don’t have energy to be extremely outraged or I don’t have someone egging me on (or the poking).  Mostly likely it’s not gonna happen. I’m not gonna stoop down to your level (douche Mac doucher!).

Now if I do have that encouragement, energy or (again you have pokened the bear) you’re threatening my lovely peeps. You know how they say that watch out for a woman scorn forget about that. Cause oh dear lorT save you cause I’m gonna stomp you out. It won’t be pretty; it’s just as simple as that.

Oh yeah P.S. Dia nueve I'm still al'ight on that fb stuff. Now I'm reading more and it's back to the video games! PS2 rules!!! 

Six, Six, Six...maybe it is the devil

So as I was reading my last entry. I notice that not only was I all over the place with my thoughts. I saw it truly didn’t make any sense. Hey, hey, now don’t make that face! I know what you’re saying this chick hardly makes any sense at all. Yeah I misspell words…leave words out…sometimes I don’t even complete my thoughts.

Still I know that words have never been one of my finer points.  I just wanted to put it out there that I know I suck (yeah in the good way too) however I’d like to think that most understand. If you feel that my tangents are a bit erratic. Its cause well I am. Me a focus are not good friends. Nope that bitch don’t like but you know what I don’t like that bitch either. So there we’re even.

With all that said the saga continues; I want y’all to know that I feel like this lent thing should be kicking my ass. I’m on day six and I feel as I should be dying without it (FB)…to be completely honest I was fine I really was. Until last night I didn’t have a slip up but I couldn’t sleep last night.

Now I’ve never really ever had good sleeping habits (ugh don’t really have any good kind of habits). More often than not I can’t sleep; it’s been a problem of mine for years. As kid they would send us to bed (I shared a room with sibling four) while he was in sweet, sweet slumber. I would be wide wake hearing him sore. So yeah I sore too but when you can sleep and the person in the same room as you sores (like a Mac Tuck)… it makes it a little difficult to sleep.

Therefore last night I was tempted (by the fruit of another!) to jump on that bitch. I didn’t of course; I don’t want to cheat. I maybe a lot of things however a cheat isn’t one of them. Hmmm though sibling two once told me. She could see me doing it if I wanted to be a bitch. Meh oh well….right back to my point I just felt restless, like I had an itch I couldn’t scratch.  When really all I wanted to do was sleep except my brain didn’t wanna stop thinking stupid thoughts. Ugh stupid, stupid, stupid!  

In spite of everything I stayed strong…I didn’t give in to my urges. I just need to say that I have been too tired today to really think about my almost laps (excluding this interlude) or FB. I have been good… well as good as anyone would expect me to be…cause really how good do you want be to be?

Day 2

Well I don’t know if I should chronicle each day individually or only post when maybe my will is waning? I do have a physical book or journal that I am writing in everyday about this experience. I do write when I am upset or feel like I can’t really discuss the issues that I’m having at the time with anyone.

So I just might be writing everyday. Now today wasn’t too difficult except for the fact that my very special friend told me I was cheating. I asked he why? Apparently I’m cheating cause I’m using other social networking sites.

Yes I’m that weirdo that has to have everything. Of courses I use Google+, I have Instagram and Twat sometimes. However I’m don’t constantly using those other site like I use FB. Not only I am playing the games on there all the time, I’m also posting checking while checking my news feeds…hey don’t’ judge me I know that I’m not the only person that does this.

I went out on Wednesday I do that every now and then (go out on a weekday well cause I don’t have children or a significant other) since I don’t have anyone to answer to. Well since I didn’t post a message saying I was going to go off the grid. I went out to see the people and give out some chocolate strawberries I made. 

I told my favorite bartender about this little project I was doing. She told me there's no way in hell she would be able to stay away from FB. Said something about FB being her crack. She is soo pretty. But I don't think it's cheating because I don't use any other one like I use FB...ugh anyway day 2 still pretty strong...no faults yet...

Forty days and forty Nights

See I’m catholic born and raised. So the fear of god has been instilled in me from a very early age. Not that I fear god (well maybe a little) but it was always something that was in the back of my mind. Every time we’re doing something ahem…dare I say bad? No, no more naughty? Wait I got it when we’re feeling exuberantly mischievous. So we were not bad per say just very enthusiastic with projects.

 Anyway we did all the things that good Catholics practices that are incorporate in the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus (aka jebus) Christ’s (aka Bunny day! I don’t get it where the hell does the bunny come from? aka Easter). So these would include Ash Wednesday…you know where they anoint you with (cigarette) ash and Lent.

Lent now I’m not really sure of all the actual technicalities of what you’re supposed to do. And sure I could look it up but don’t wanna can’t make me. Still these are the things my mother would make us do as children. One we were not supposed to eat meat. I get it’s about how he went without or something to that effect. Now this second one we didn’t practice until we got older cause I guess of the commitment. That you have to give something, you really love or maybe are addicted to.

I know, why do it If you don’t really understand it. Well I asked my mother once about it. As a consequence she gave me a dirty look that lead me lead to a long lecture about how Jebus die for our sin…and you can give up one thing you like for 40 days, and forty nights for him… -_- Ugh! Man can that women guilty me with the greatest of ease. She is so graceful with her words when she wants to be.

So with that said…It was something that I had to do. Therefore as a teenager I would usually give up candy or video games. I love love love candy…I always have but as long as I don’t have it in my face I can resist its sweet sweet call. Video games were much hard to relinquish; they were my escape, hide away from the bad times. Nevertheless it was something, save for some slip ups here and there, we (I) did pretty well.

Now as I got older with new vices to renounce things got a little funny. Yeah I mean the haahaha kind. One year I stopped smoking oh my, was that not pretty. Other year I gave up having sex…then there was the year I gave up alcohol…well this year I’m giving up Facebook. I can honestly say that I’m addicted like sex and smoking.

Come on people Facebook is a vice there are some (like me) that are on it continually. I was usually playing the FB games. I couldn’t help it I am hooked. Still I think it’s the fact that I could post snide comment that I make mentally or that my random thought were it was a place i could always express it. If that’s what I wanted, except details, no those are all mine…only special people get those.  

So I started on Wednesday. I didn’t post a last message I just logged out and delete the apps on my phone. At first I was like Ahhhhh!!!! I can believe, I’m really gonna do this!!! Then got home and delete the bookmark on my internet browser (Chrome Rules!! Fox Drools!) So Thursday was Day 1 and this should have post this then. Although it’s better late than never.

I’ve started strong. I think the fact that I delete everything on my phone helped. The temptation lingers though. I still know that and flick of a finger I can go now FB with my internet browser via my phone or at home too! Then I think of all the things I did on the online before I know I can do this…however I really do fear that I will falter.

Umm wish me luck! or Strength!